The R Factor – Happy Growing Churches Have it

I recently attended a midweek service which opened with a discussion on church leadership.  The minister asked for what kinds of leadership we see within the church.  Typical answers like “elder,” and “deacon” followed.  Next the question was posed if there were examples of leadership that may not necessarily have formal titles.  I had an idea in mind but thought it may be too “out of the box” to share.  No, actually, these are loving people and I would have been perfectly safe to share.  I think I chickened out – maybe having to percolate on the idea a little bit more 🙂

Happy, growing churches have relationship leaders.  I have never been to a church where there is “Leader of relationships” on staff, but I have been blessed by fellowships that are rich in the relationship factor.  People are encouraged to be themselves, speak freely, get involved, make mistakes, learn from them, and carry on.  People are accepted to “come as they are” and then are encouraged and spurred on to good deeds to be their best for Christ.    People are involved in the process of making, teaching, and training disciples, for the long haul, everyday, with love,  mercy, and justice.

Sadly, too often people come to church and missing the relationship factor, move on.  A woman recently shared with me that she “pledged membership” at one church, but it “got too big” so now she goes somewhere else.  I am pretty sure this is not what God intended in the sharing of His good news.

Which brings me to the concept of pledging membership.  Fundamentally, I don’t take issue with a public support and desire to support a specific community of His Body.  But I dare not do it lightly.   I want to get knee- deep in the relationship-ness of an organization first.  I want to come alongside and get my hands dirty and hear how you love God even when you physically feel like crap.  Not from some ‘holier than thou’ perspective, but because next time I feel like crap, I am going to take courage from your example.  I want us to share our dreams and fears and victories and laughter when life doesn’t make sense, but God’s provision prevails.  I want us to share how we royally screwed something up, but then felt God’s grace and was so encouraged that our hair was on fire for God.  Or, I want us to feel safe enough to share that we want to hide under a rock, so convinced are we, that there is no turning back.  And at the end of real, honest, this is how it is, conversation,  our hearts turn Heaven-ward and we take comfort in knowing that His love is completely enough.

This is the relationship factor.  When, at the end of  fellowship, we are strengthened, encouraged, and invigorated to stay steadfast in the battle.

Pushing Through Misunderstanding, Loving Imperfect People

Biologically, men will never push out a baby.  Metaphorically though, pushing through in relationships and not giving up, kind of similar.  Fresh off the delivery process, sleep deprived, caffeinated, deliriously happy with a new addition, equally challenged in energy, faith, and patience, this thought came to me.  Just when you don’t think you can put “your chin to your chest and take a deep breath, and push with all of your might” anymore, out comes baby.  Now,  I have to say, I for one, did not wax some poetic, romantic notion when our son (now at about 11 days, event counting has its challenges) was placed on my chest post delivery.  I think I actually said, “wow, he looks like a ham.”  And thus he did, a plump, juice covered, packaged ham.

It had been several hours since I had eaten.  I was hungry.

I have transitioned to loving him more than a packaged ham.   And as God often provides life lessons through child rearing and raising, had a deep thought (WOW) despite lack of sleep.   Love never fails.  That means when baby screams for no apparent reason in the middle of the night other than that is what he is designed to do, I respond with love.  It isn’t always easy, but love perseveres.  I don’t say, “boy, that is annoying, let me just leave you alone for a while.”  Okay, so I do say that (thankfully, I have a helpful spouse!) but after regaining composure, I go back, I return, I am ready again to love.

The same is true with our adult relationships.  Oh, we are tempted aren’t we?  It is tempting to say, “um, so you totally didn’t read me right on that, that is pretty annoying, I think I’ll leave you alone for a while.”  It hurts when we are misunderstood.  Realistically, we will be misunderstood.  As imperfect people, we will not always get it right.

And thus my initiating thought.  Men will never push out a baby….but the concept – eerily similar.  Loving one another as God intends for us to love one another – much like an induction and delivery.  It is a process, it has ups and downs, is exhilarating, painful, full of rejoicing, full of heartache, tests our patience, and proves that love as God intends, never fails.   There is also an end result.  No physician allows a baby to get someplace in the birth canal, and then get stuck.  No baby just hangs out there indefinitely.  Resolution occurs, result, fruit.

The same is true for our relationships with adults, though we are tempted to hang out in stuck mode.  That’s okay, for a time, until you allow God’s love, mercy, grace, and word to move you through the stuckness.

Think about the times that the apostles argued, they misunderstood each other and got on each others nerves.  Jesus doesn’t seem surprised, he corrects and trains and teaches.  Love never fails.

My sweet little ham is calling me.  And truthfully, I am honored, humbled, and gifted with the opportunity to answer his call and meet his need.  Sometimes adults aren’t as cute, but we are equally honored and gifted to have relationships with one another.

It is a gift to be able to see, practically, that love never fails.  We just have to pray to remain convinced that it is a gift worth taking off the shelf and unwrapping, again and again.